Jokes

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Jokes
Topic Started: Oct 30 2008, 12:47 AM (698 Views)
emzy	Oct 30 2008, 12:47 AM Post #1
Manager Posts: 1,329 Group: Moderator Member #2 Joined: October 30, 2008	Got any funny Jokes post here ...........



Ste_Macca	Oct 31 2008, 01:47 AM Post #2
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	Murphy calls to visit his mate Paddy who has a broken leg, Paddy says to him ' me F'in feet are F'in freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?' Murphy replies ' no bother mate ' and nips upstairs where he finds Paddy's 2 stunning 19 year old daughters. Murphy says to them ' your Dad sent me up to have sex with you both' ' F' off you liar ' was the reply ' I'll prove it to you both ' Murphy replies and shouts down to Paddy ' Both of them Paddy ? ' Paddy shouts back ' Of caurse both of them, what's the use of F'in one of them !!



emzy	Nov 10 2008, 07:47 PM Post #3
Manager Posts: 1,329 Group: Moderator Member #2 Joined: October 30, 2008	Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years, wife turns on the light, to find her husband holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, calling him an impotent bastard! "How could you lie to me all these years?" she shouts, Husband looks straight into her eyes and calmly says "i'll explain the toy, you explain the kids!!".......



emzy	Nov 10 2008, 07:51 PM Post #4
Manager Posts: 1,329 Group: Moderator Member #2 Joined: October 30, 2008	A man has been found floating in the Tyne wearing a Newcastle shirt, womens knickers, fish net tights, suspenders, a blow up doll on the end of his cock and a dildo up his arse. Police have removed the Newcastle shirt to save the family from any embarrassment.



Ste_Macca	Nov 16 2008, 10:56 PM Post #5
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	Al quaeda have hidden bombs in tins of alphabetti spaghetti. If they go off it could spell disaster.



Paulred	Nov 19 2008, 10:09 AM Post #6
Regular Posts: 77 Group: Members Member #12 Joined: November 11, 2008	What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg. What is: peck, peck, peck, BANG, peck, peck, peck BANG?? A chicken in a minefield.. B)



Ste_Macca	Nov 19 2008, 10:12 AM Post #7
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	Paulred Nov 19 2008, 09:09 AM What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg. What is: peck, peck, peck, BANG, peck, peck, peck BANG?? A chicken in a minefield.. B) Terrible :blink: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross again? He wanted to be a dirty double crosser. :lol:



Paulred	Nov 22 2008, 06:08 PM Post #8
Regular Posts: 77 Group: Members Member #12 Joined: November 11, 2008	Richard Branson has been asked to sponsor Spurs but he declined saying he couldn't have virgin on the shirt of a team that is getting fucked everyweek!



redman	Dec 11 2008, 08:33 PM Post #9
The Pool Posts: 1,166 Group: Members Member #5 Joined: October 30, 2008
	Liverpool Football Club, My Team, My club, My Soul. Come On On You Mighty Liverpool.


anfieldroad	Feb 17 2009, 09:23 PM Post #10
Born to be a red Posts: 909 Group: Members Member #14 Joined: November 11, 2008	What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
	Liverpool FC


Ste_Macca	Feb 17 2009, 09:33 PM Post #11
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	anfieldroad Feb 17 2009, 08:23 PM What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. Banned for bad taste jokes thumbs



Ste_Macca	Mar 8 2009, 08:31 PM Post #12
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	Thanks to rachit82, who posted this on her facebook status. Two packets of crisps were walking along the road when a car stopped and a man said, ''want a lift'' ? The crisps said, ''no thanks, we're walkers''.



booby	Mar 20 2009, 09:25 PM Post #13
Boobylicious Posts: 1,841 Group: Members Member #13 Joined: November 11, 2008 Favourite Player Kenny Dalglish Location Merseyside Female ID Female	Q: What do you call a Man Utd season ticket holder? A: Scenery...



booby	Mar 20 2009, 09:27 PM Post #14
Boobylicious Posts: 1,841 Group: Members Member #13 Joined: November 11, 2008 Favourite Player Kenny Dalglish Location Merseyside Female ID Female	What shall we do with the Man U bastards? What shall we do with the Man U bastards? What shall we do with the Man U bastards? Early in the morning? Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Early in the morning. (to the tune of Drunken Sailor) A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a Arsenal scarf. "Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven." "What ?" exclaims the man, astonished. "You heard, no Man Utd fans." "But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Man Utd supporter. "Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?" "Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa". "Oh" says St. Peter. "anything else?" "Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless." "Hmmm. Anything else?" "Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans." "Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor." Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now fuck off".



Gary5times	Mar 21 2009, 09:19 PM Post #15
Liverpool FC Fan Posts: 873 Group: Members Member #15 Joined: November 11, 2008	Some cracking jokes, keep em up.
	We'll be coming, We'll be coming, We'll be coming down the road, When you hear the noise of the Bill Shankly boys, We'll be coming down the road.


Ste_Macca	Mar 22 2009, 08:09 PM Post #16
I'm hungry. Where's the jam? Posts: 5,068 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 30, 2008 Location Liverpool Twitter ID Ste_Macca Facebook ID people/Stephen-Fleetwood/555575793 Male ID male	booby Mar 20 2009, 08:27 PM What shall we do with the Man U bastards? What shall we do with the Man U bastards? What shall we do with the Man U bastards? Early in the morning? Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Shoot, shoot, shoot the bastards Early in the morning. (to the tune of Drunken Sailor) A Man Utd fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a Arsenal scarf. "Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Man Utd fans in heaven." "What ?" exclaims the man, astonished. "You heard, no Man Utd fans." "But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Man Utd supporter. "Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?" "Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa". "Oh" says St. Peter. "anything else?" "Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless." "Hmmm. Anything else?" "Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans." "Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor." Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now fuck off". rockk



Dani	Aug 17 2009, 11:07 PM Post #17
Legend Posts: 756 Group: Members Member #114 Joined: January 24, 2009 Favourite Player Rush Location Merseyside Male ID Male Xbox ID DaniLFC	A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The women immediately goes to the head office and reports him. The boss says what's wrong with him saying that your hair smells nice? The women replies he's a midget!!!!!



Kopite7	Jan 21 2010, 12:41 PM Post #18
Player Posts: 548 Group: Members Member #104 Joined: January 18, 2009	What have a pint of Guinness and a priest got in common? Both come in black, both have white collars and if you have a dodgy one you end up with a sore arse.
	Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown, Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, And you'll never walk alone, You'll never walk alone, Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, And you'll never walk alone, You'll Never Walk Alone.


mkj1972	Feb 1 2010, 07:01 PM Post #19
Moderator Posts: 2,764 Group: Moderator Member #7 Joined: October 31, 2008	Wayne Bridge has bought his partner a Cadburys chocolate penis for Valentines Day,but she refused saying she preferred Terry`s



i-love-gerrard	Feb 5 2010, 01:36 PM Post #20
Season Ticket Holder Posts: 712 Group: Members Member #222 Joined: February 8, 2009 Favourite Player Ian Rush Location Merseyside	lol good one MKJ1972
	Liverpool FC Rule


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